Most people spend their lives in a constant grind without really caring too much about other people. There are those that are your family, your children and your spouse, that you profess to care deeply for but you really don’t show it.
You feel like you’re busting your ass and making sacrifices for these people, but they don’t view it that way nor do they care. What about intimate time? What about quality time together?
Do you think those clean dishes enhance your quality time? Did that dirty bathroom upstairs that no one really uses add intimate time to your life now that it’s clean? Does that new car outside, or that house, or that new TV, or whatever else you think you’re doing for those you love; increase your quality time with them?
Deep down inside do they really appreciate that you paid the electricity, the rent, or the water bill this month? Do they give a flying fuck that you went to work, got a promotion, or a raise?
No…they do not.
They may appreciate that you clean the house, buy them things, pay for other things, or prepare their food, but that’s not what makes an intimate relationship. That is not what adds quality time to anything. In fact, these things do the opposite. They take away.
So while you’re out there working 60 hours a week and coming home thinking you deserve some respect and gratitude you mine as well go fuck yourself instead and consider the fact that you worked those 60 hours for yourself.
While you spend all day doing the laundry and cleaning the house expecting that somehow it will enhance your relationship with those living there, you mine as well just stick your thumb up your butt instead, because it doesn’t enhance anything.
What these things do is give you a sense of entitlement where you feel that you have contributed, maybe more so than others in that house, and because of your contribution you want people to respect and worship you in your own little perverted way. You want people to acknowledge all that you do and tell you that they couldn’t live without you.
I got news for you – they can fucking live without you.
I’ve got more news for you – if you don’t get your head out of your ass and start building some quality relationships with them…they will LIVE WITHOUT YOU.
If you think the extra money you bring in so you can piss it away on some fancy new gadget is going to make people happy, you’re wrong.
If you think people can’t live in a house that’s not immaculate, you’re wrong.
If you think that somehow dirty dishes or laundry will prevent quality relationships, you’re wrong. I’ve seen people wear the same clothes over and over again and even drink from the faucet with their hands. They’ll manage.
So what it all boils down to at the end of the day is do your actions line up with your goals.
In other words, is your goal to make a lot of money or is it to take care of your family, and if it’s the latter, have you asked them what they want from you? You may find that they don’t care about money at all.
Why are you doing what you’re doing? Will it have the desired results you’re seeking?
Do you think that the roles you perform somehow build a strong relationship? They’re just roles. Someone or both people are going to make money, someone or both people are going to clean the house, and someone or both people are going to take care of the kids among many other things.
These are standard functions in every relationship. So what makes your relationship special? Have you thought about it or asked yourself? You’re not seriously just looking for a partner to go make money or clean the house are you? Maybe you are, and that’s great if you found them, then you won’t need to read this anymore. So hit the x in your browser, and then go get a hammer and hit yourself in the head with it.
You just made an assload of money, it’s time for you to take your two week vacation. Who are you going with and why?
Who do you want to spend the rest of your life with? Who do you want to cross that finish line of life with hand-in-hand? Who do you want to grow old with?
You’re sitting on the porch down south and playing the banjo in your rocking chair. Who is sitting there next to you?
It’s the relationships that make life worthwhile. It’s not about what you have, what you can buy, or what you do. It’s about who you know and how well you know them.
If you ask someone why they want to make a lot of money, they’ll tell you so they can retire early and spend time with their friends and family. So they put in a good 40 years and hope to retire by age 65 with a boat load of cash and financial security. They ignore those important to them that they profess they want to spend time with, after all, that’s why they are working so hard.
In those 40 years, babies grow up. Kids turn into teenagers. Teenagers into adults. Those adults have their own kids and own families. And here you are at age 65 looking around and you don’t really know anyone. You missed out on the important phases of their lives. You missed out on your own life.
How’s that retirement working out for you? Now what are you going to do? Go make some friends and play golf? Why weren’t you just doing that all along? Was it really worth it to work those extra 20 hours that you could have spent with your children? How about your dedicated and loyal wife that left you 20 years ago because you ignored her the first 20? Is that what you’re after?
If you were to die today, would you have any regrets with your life? Is there someone special to you that you never told them how you feel? Are you not spending enough time with those that are important to you? Are there places you’d like to see, things you’d like to do, and people you’d like to meet? Or can you die right now today without regrets?
If you can die without regrets right this very minute then you are succeeding in living your life. Good job! For the rest of you, if you’ll have any regrets you better figure out what they are and take care of them — no one lives forever.
I’ll tell you what my regrets are just to get you started.
As I am typing this I am laying in my daughters bed, she is not here because I only get to see her every other weekend. I only get to see her every other weekend because of a divorce and placement. Not a day goes by when I wish I would have spent more time with her and all of my children when I had the chance. Instead, do you know what I was doing?
That’s right, I was working and taking everyone around me for granted, never really spending any quality time with them at all. Now I don’t have the option to, I get 4 days a month.
Did I ever think I’d end up divorced? Nope!
This is exactly what I mean by life is short. There are going to be things beyond your control that will take away the people you love, so make sure you utilize the time you have with them now because it might be the last.
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