Narcissism Explained by a Narcissist – 16 Narcissistic Traits Defined

Narcissism is a generalized personality trait characterized by egotism, vanity, pride, or selfishness. The point of this article is to demonstrate that narcissism isn’t necessarily a bad thing and that almost every human that I know of shares in the traits and what defines a narcissist. So from one narcissist to another. Enjoy! Oops, that was un-narcissistic of me. My apologies. Shit did it again.

16 Narcissistic Traits Defined:

narcissism and loving yourself

Obvious self-focus in interpersonal exchanges.

I can’t think of many people that don’t focus on themselves in some fashion in an interpersonal exchange. In fact, you’ve probably been on the phone with someone who only talks about themselves or their problems without listening to yours.

Would it surprise you that some of your best friends display traits of narcissism?

Lots of people like to feel important, more important than others, so they name drop people they know, things they have, or something cool about themselves in every conversation.

Just so we’re clear, if you have a Facebook account and you’ve posted a status update, you probably suffer from this trait of narcissism. Facebook is all about the cool things you’re doing and how much fun you’re having, rarely is it used for actual interpersonal exchanges that do not focus on yourself.

The status bar alone asks you what’s on your mind!

Facebook is a breeding ground for narcissists, those that frequently use it feel the need to be actively involved in telling others what they are doing and spying on what others are up to. If there was ever a time in our history where narcissist identification cards would be handed out, they would be called Facebook accounts.

Problems in sustaining satisfying relationships.

not arrogant just better than you

This trait is a double edged sword that’s always taken out of context. People look at you, even your once significant other, and say “You have problems sustaining a relationship” or better yet “All of your relationships are short.”

Fortunately, if they were your significant other they forget that they were part of that short lived or unhealthy relationship and are guilty right along with you. For those people that you weren’t in a relationship with they want to peg you with the stigmata of being in short relationships.

The reality is that being in a long-term codependent relationship is no better.

Perhaps you’re smarter and end your relationships sooner than others when they go bad instead of suffering and trying to stick them out like everyone else. So while this says sustaining a relationship, sometimes the people who sustain them actually belong in this trait group as well. The keyword is satisfying or in other words a healthy relationship.

The other downside of this condition is that the people you attract also suffer from pathological and psychological conditions. You may grow sick of it after awhile. So when they bitch at you, complain, or do things you dislike – you’ll be quick to sever the connection and end it. The bad thing is not that you end it or couldn’t sustain it but rather that you attracted this type of person to you in the first place.

A lack of psychological awareness.

Almost everyone, and by almost everyone, I mean everyone has some narcissistic traits. Denying that you do is a failure to recognize your own psychological condition. This is where people will deny that they have any form of narcissism although they are quick to point the finger at others and stereotype them.

If you tell someone you think they match a trait of narcissism and after discussing it with them they still don’t even see how it might be possible or admit that they display traits sometimes, then you’re dealing with a narcissist in full form because they have this trait.

Difficulty with empathy.

narcissistic t shirt better than everyone else

This is the inability to feel and understand the emotions of others, whether they are standing right in front of you or fictional characters in a movie. If you’re with someone who’s never cried and lacks any type of emotion, even laughter or happiness, then they match this trait.

A lot of people commonly misunderstand this as empathy towards your partner or toward a specific individual, however, this is not the case. Most people when put through repetitive or cyclical drama will build a wall against that form of drama. These people will develop the ability to watch you cry with a straight face. In this instance, this is not a trait match.

It can be easily summed up as a rerun of the same show or an enactment of the same play where people assume roles and act out a poorly constructed drama that would receive bad ratings if it were on TV. Essentially it means, we’ve been through this before, the same song and dance, and I’m not buying it this time.

Problems distinguishing the self from others.

i love me narcissism

In the mind of a narcissist there is no boundary between themselves and others. This attitude can be found in the saying, “If you don’t serve me, then move the fuck around.” Those that succumb to the will of a narcissist will be treated as an extension of them where they have expectations of them that require them to forfeit their own individuality.

A narcissist treats their significant other or others as if they belonged to them. This can also be found in the use of “We” or the self-proclaimed acquisition of physical assets such as money. This is common in relationships where one person foots the bill for everything but the other person treats this money as if it belongs to them as well.

When they talk to other people about money they oftentimes say things like “we have” “we will” “we can’t afford” but the reality in this circumstance is the other person as an individual may not even have the ability or right to say such things. By grouping themselves with another person they use them as an extension of themselves in many more forms than on a monetary or asset level. Even in mental assets like “we think”, your thoughts must align with theirs because they are treated as the same.

When the disparity is obvious and there is a dissenting opinion or thought between this “we” pack (the minority report, because even between two people you are the minority to the controller) it will break out into a huge fight. Usually the fight will be over the smallest thing because you are not allowed to have your own opinion or thought, regardless as to whether it was a negative one or not.

Hypersensitivity to insults or imagined insults.

Yes, if you are overly sensitive to taking criticism you share a trait of narcissism. Considering that at some point people get upset over criticism this means almost everyone shares this trait.

Imagined insults are where the serious offenders really show themselves. Have you ever talked with someone and said something and they took it out of context and in the completely wrong way, jumping through hoops of fire, to try to make it seem like or suggest you insulted them?

Have you ever told someone that they could improve their health by working out and they came back with “What are you trying to say I’m fat?”

Congratulations, you’ve found yourself a narcissistic trait. Some people will go out of their way to make it seem like you’re insulting them in some way, usually pertaining to their physical appearance, social status, religious beliefs, or poverty level. Narcissists love to feel insulted.

If you talk about welfare in a political conversation and you happen to say that most of the people on welfare are abusing the system and someone says

“Hey I’m on welfare and it’s not my fault I can’t get a job or I can’t afford school” – narcissist
“My sister is on welfare and it’s not her fault, she tries really hard” – narcissistic

Should I go on?

They will take a philosophical discussion not aimed at anyone in particular and make it about them or someone they know being offended or getting overly emotional about it.

Speaking of politics. Most democrats operate from an emotional mindset. If you’ve ever watched CSPAN live they are always crying or whining about some person and their situation and why they need to save this or that. By definition, most Democrats are narcissists.

Did that offend you? Good, because now you understand that you have a narcissistic trait as well.

Vulnerability to shame rather than guilt.

arrogant president obama

Because there is such a fine line between shame and guilt I will do my best to explain this one. Narcissists are more concerned with the act than the consequences of the act and it’s effects on others.

They believe they are superhuman and they rely on their ability to be superior over others. If they were part of a hunter-gatherer society they would be more affected by the fact they may have missed a deer with their bow rather than the fact that their family and tribe will have to go without food.

Their vulnerability to shame can be so devastating that it consumes them.

The kicker who misses the game winning field goal in a super bowl will oftentimes relive that kick. He/she will spend hours thinking about it, even going to the football field at random times to put the ball back in the same place it was and practice that kick, over and over and over again. The kicker will be more affected by this (shame) than the fact his team didn’t win the super bowl (guilt). He is more affected by the lack of his ability than the fact his team lost because of it.

Haughty body language.

Haughty is defined as being arrogant and full of pride. Haughty body language is comprised of adopting body language that screams I’m better than you. Whether you walk around with your nose held high, roll your eyes, or smirk – anything that gives off the impression your shit doesn’t stink is haughty body language.

We’ve all seen the movies with the rich stuck up people in them, usually portrayed by a woman. A narcissist with this behavior doesn’t actually have to be rich to act like them.

If you describe anyone you know as stuck-up or spoiled, then they probably have this trait of narcissism.

Flattery towards people who admire and affirm them.

ego and narcissism

Narcissists are nice to people who admire them for their abilities or socially accept them into their “pack” – anyone else they want nothing to do with and don’t care to listen to your opinion.

Detesting those who do not admire them.

Those who do not admire them will not be included in their circle. They will be quickly shelved and placed out of existence. Narcissists choose to hang around only those who will glorify them and will not hang around people who don’t think they are awesome, even if those people aren’t necessarily saying anything bad about them. They do not like to hang around anyone who considers themselves an equal unless that group of people is better than everyone else in some way.

If you’ve ever met someone who you’ve called a “one-upper” or someone who has to “keep up with the jones’s” you’ve ran across this before. No matter what story you have to tell or how awesome it may be they will tell you about something they did or what someone they know did and it will always be better than your story. They have to be the center of attention, no one can have or be better than them.

Using other people without considering the cost of doing so.

A narcissist will convince their best friend to go commit a crime for their benefit without feeling guilty at all when they get caught and are sent to jail. They probably won’t even show up to visit or consider you a friend anymore. In fact, they may look down on you for getting caught.

Pretending to be more important than they really are.

piers morgan and arrogance

“I’m an administrative assistant.” — no, you’re a fucking secretary.

Everyone has ran across someone who has to appear to be more important or special than they really are. They just can’t tell it like it is. They glorify the smallest things they do.

They’ll tell you they run a branch of one of the most prestigious and fastest growing restaurants in the world — to late find out that they are an assistant manager at the local McDonalds.

We all have met these types.

Bragging (subtly but persistently) and exaggerating their achievements.

Bragging is not just a side hobby, it’s a core profession of a narcissist. As a natural element of how they talk they throw in random blips just to talk about what they did.

They are always telling a story of an adventure or some experience they had that’s somehow related to what is going on.

You could be talking about Jesus Christ and how it he travelled the world feeding and healing people and they’ll tell you that they went to an orphanage once and fed a bunch of kids. They may even tell you that they were studying to become a doctor. Anything they can to get your attention.

When it comes to achievements. A third place finish out of five in a local community race becomes a professional state competition where they took third out of ten thousand people with a heroic story on why they lost to the other two that would make the movie 300 look small in comparison.

The fish they caught was an epic battle where they fell off their boat and had to go under water and wrestle it out with their bare hands. Of course it was the biggest fish to have ever lived and would have set a record but they let it go because they didn’t want to displace the current record holder out of their generosity.

Claiming to be an “expert” at many things.

stephen colbert narcissism

There are actually people that know many things and could be considered an expert at “everything” but it’s not that it’s actually “everything” it just happens to be something they want to talk about.

The way to get rid of the fakers is to ask them about their background in the subject they are talking about. You’ll find many of them heard and are repeating someones opinion from TV or a news program and not sharing something they actually know anything about.

The honest ones will come right out and tell you how they know what they know the fakers will conceal it. They won’t tell you that TV Anchor Larry said it on the 6 o’clock news, they will pawn it off as their own knowledge.

But you should be advised there are a lot of people that have credentials to back up a lot of things they are saying, whether or not they are right, or their sources are right, is one that can be openly debated or discussed – but you can’t write everyone off as a narcissist because they seem to know something.

Now they might be a narcissist because when they tell you about what they know they brag about it or match some of the other traits and that would be understandable. But calling them a narcissist otherwise matches yourself to a narcissistic trait, so point the finger right back at yourself.

Inability to view the world from the perspective of other people.

Without the ability to change your paradigm or view of the world you will lack the ability to understand and change – which will inhibit your ability to grow. You’ll be stuck as you are and not be able to progress. You’ll advance confidently as a narcissist thinking everyone else around you is wrong because you don’t understand them.

Meanwhile you’ll be trapped in your own little world of loneliness hearing nothing but your own thoughts and the sound of your voice — while you’re scantily breathing.

Are you even alive?

Denial of remorse and gratitude.

narcissistic personality me me me

No matter how they really feel, if they feel at all. They will openly deny any form of regret and openly deny any gratitude toward others. They will not appreciate you or say thanks nor will they feel regret for anything they do to you. Plain and simple. They expect things to go how they are supposed to in their own little world.

Hope you enjoyed this clarification and welcome to club narcissism, meetings are everyday solely because other clubs only meet once a week and we want to outdo them.

36 thoughts on “Narcissism Explained by a Narcissist – 16 Narcissistic Traits Defined”

  1. This is why people think psychiatry/psychology is full of bullsh**Not only does this description sound like most people every human being knows, most of these traits (albeit in moderation) are those which our society embraces as necessary for success in life. Do you know anyone who got a major promotion without tooting their own horn often, even when it wasn’t always warranted? Inability to see things from another’s point of view? Our whole political structure plays on rampant intolerant feelings in our society (think: “I’m not gay so therefore gay people should be legally prohibited from getting married.”) flattering people who admire you??? Is it healthier to flatter a person who tells you that you suck???

    Everyones got a little narcissism in them; in fact you could argue it’s an evolutionary survival tool. So these articles might be a little more helpful if they helped you understand where the lines might be between healthy narcism and destructive narcism. EG it’s natural to want to be around people who have good things to say about you but when does that become dangerous. Most people have an aversion to criticism but do people seem scared before they’re about to disagree with you? Do your subordinates in the office whisper about getting fired if their don’t say yes to you all the time? And so on and so forth.

    1. Unfortunately because of some Narcissitic/codependent traits i have. I attracted a larger than life Syco/Narcissit in my life. Could not get my head around it because my penis was in the way. Not to mention that I truly believed that she came from a terrible Home and was molested. This was her mode of opperande. I over heard her telling this story in one of her drunk tyraids while butt dialing my # to the poor cab driver that was bringing her to my house. Was it stupidity or just the fact that i was so lacking in relationship values myself, that i stayed for 5 years with this Evil person. From a Bible point of view, it relates to a spirit known as the Jezebel Spirit. It is out of the Book of Ezekial and refers to Queen Jezebel who sought the phrophet Elija’s head. She was Evil incarnate and used bequiling sexual/slandurous/murderous/blasphemous approaches to her end and mode of operande. She was oventually overthrown and fed to the dogs literaley. So it be to all Narcissist and their kind.

      1. I was with one of those women also. 2.5 years. She was slightly disabled. My subconscious kept telling me to run, so I started drinking heavily. I’d get drunk, tell her what I thought of her, etc. It was toxic as hell. I finally got away, and then after some research I figured out what was going on. Narcissist. It’s quite funny now, you can send an email that isn’t 100% clear in it’s meaning. She will interpret it the negative way and go bat sh*t crazy.

        I did this on accident, the email. She said she couldn’t move the chair to the storage place, so I said in the reply to “get some help”. She interpreted that as get some mental health. Gotta laugh.

        The reply was:

        I have been happier the last few weeks than I ever was with you. I do not need any more help than I already have. In addition I have conquered all my addictions except caffeine and nicotine. If anyone needs help, it is YOU. Check yourself into rehab willingly for about three months; only then might you have some control over your alcoholism.

        Basically, F*CK YOU.

        Says the woman snorting opiates, smoking pot, taking tranquilizers, other mental meds, and drinking alcohol till she blacks out and kicks in the walls until blood is splattered everywhere. (Shame got her)

        They put on a show to get you hooked, then slowly play the control game. Beat you down to make themselves look better. She has every single one of these traits listed.

        So if you meet someone, and they tell you how smart they are, run like hell.

        I truly believe that we should be taught in school these behaviors so we can avoid these people like the plague. I didn’t know what was going on with her, she seemed nice, but “off”. The best way to detect is that “off” feeling, and the lack of ability to see life through another persons view. “How would you like it if I did that to you?” Blank stare, changes subject. No guilt. Throws a rampage if she got shamed, including lawn furniture.

        It’s bad stuff.

      2. Dude if you want to get spiritual about it you have a spirit of “lust”. She might have been unbearable outside the sack but you still used her for sex – didn’t you. If I were you I would try to take a good look at myself (sorry, I forgot, as a narcissist you are incapable of honestly looking at yourself!). It’s the blame game – it’s always someone else fault not yours. Narcissistic Personality Disorder is one of the hardest if not impossible disorders to cure. Narcissist can’t believe that there is anything wrong with them it always has to be the other person. I would tell you to get help but it won’t do you any good. Just stay away from women. The women that you choose are used to being abused and that why they seek out ass holes like you.

        1. Right, men share nothing in common with women and not even emotionally. Only he knows his feelings 100% but he could’ve had the same emotional reasons for staying as a woman can. It’s hard leaving the relationship sometimes especially when you’re emotionally invested in the other person. Unlike the narcissist us ‘neurotypicals’ weren’t out to use and abuse. It can be very devastating when the narcissist shows his/ her true colors and sometimes we dumbly stay because there’s a hopeful part of us that hopes things will get better. This was a person we loved (to an extent). We may have been a thing to the narcissist but they weren’t to us and unlike a narcissist we have an extremely hard time letting go of someone we cared about and seeing them for who they are.

          According to you though men can’t relate to that at all. Men are emotionless robots who care only about sex. It’s not like they’re human and subject to the same securities and emotions as us women!!

          Being used to being abused also goes for all narcissists and not just women. These people can’t love/ emote because nobody ever taught them to.

  2. My second ex husband 100% narcissists batterer and womanizer should I say more. At first he pretends and acts like the man I wanted to be with. Towards the course of time found out he was on Craigslist, addicted to pornography, sexual addiction, women to please him he will be there. He uses his reason for working job as an excuse to have no time. With the technology out there he does have a free time online dating quickies its not impossible. He beat me and verbally abuses me if I’m on the way. Well he found his match a woman who is younger and looks like his daughter. For women out there its not worth it. He sucked and used me emotionally and financially. A knight in shining armor in disguise but a wolf in sheeps clothing. He uses God all the time by the way. He got caught. But no contact is the best way to avoid this con artist.

    1. Wow! It has been a long time since you posted your story. It is helping me, hugely. hope you are ok? Robin. Married to an Abuser/narc

  3. I just walked away from one of these narcissistic characters. Whew!!!!! What a freaking ride that was. It only took him a couple of weeks to find a new victim, I mean girlfriend. However, she was already lined up. It is a cobweb of mental manipulation, there were so many red flags, but he was so manipulative, and good at it, that he talk circles and shift the blame on to me, ever so slyly. It’s what they call gas lighting. if you do not know what that is look it, that’s how I know. I walked away with a deep gut instinct something was wrong. I followed it, and the decision was a very difficult, because I cared for the guy. But now, almost three months later, being on the outside looking in, I see it., and boy was I unhappy with him, I knew it but I didn’t want to be single…Ironic huh? It is uncomfortable to go through heartache, but one thing I had to do was trust myself, and not disregarding that voice, hunch, intuition, whatever it is…Listen to it. Also, if your family and friends do not like the person you are dating, observe and ask questions. Friends and family were my lifeline. If you suspect you are in a relationship with this kind of person, research, research, research. Then come up with your own conclusion. It is not easy walking away one of these types of personalities, it is almost like they a spell over you. However, knowledge is power. Get informed and stay true to yourself. It is not what people say, it is what they do. Love and be kind to yourself.

  4. As somebody states above yes there are narcissist traits in all of us. The thing that defines a narcissist is how many of these traits they suffer from. A “normal” person will have a few of the traits when a narcissist will score very highly for almost all of them.

    1. Exactly Eddie, add to it that the combination thereof must interfere with functioning at a clinical level. Misinterpretation is why some think of psychology as BS. – Licensed Psychologist

  5. I have read some articles about narcissism and I would have been scared had I not already known that everyone has at least one of those “symptoms”. Like some other posters have pointed out and as stated in this blog post, everyone has narcissistic traits. It is when you have many of these traits.

    Anyway, there are at least a couple of (highly) narcissistic people in my life. It is really tiresome to deal with. The best part is when they do or say something extremely cruel to you and then the next second act as if they never done anything to you or don’t remember doing or saying anything. People do not have the time or the energy to deal with that.

    People like that make you want to get a tape recorder.

  6. I think that actually many Democrats and progressively political people, especially those who are faith-based activists (example: Quakers who are working for peace through nonviolence) are acting out of a sense of compassion and empathy: not narcissism.
    They feel for those around them.
    In contrast, here is an example of a conservative making a narcissistic comment: “Why should I care whether poor people don’t have health insurance. -I- do and that is what matters”.
    I find among many conservatives especially men, a lack of empathy.
    Economic conservativism: They and their families are well off. That is what matters. Narcissism.
    Social conservativism: “I don’t care that my neighbors who are two senior women are not allowed to marry, and therefore when one of them died, the other did not qualify for Social Security survivorship, meaning hardship and hunger to her. -I- have health insurance. Who cares about THOSE people”. Narcissism.

    Jesus taught us: “love your neighbor as you love yourself”. He was the anti-narcissist.

    1. I am a Tea Party patriot, a truely right of Republican activist. I take issue with your thoughtless, unsubstantiated, ill researched statements linking Narcissistic traits to the Right. You do know that the kkk was predominantly democrats, don’t you, you do know that Martin Luther King was a republican, don’t you, you do know that Republicans give far more to non government charities than Democrats, don’t you. You do know that the president that freed the slaves was a Republican, don’t you? You do know that nearly every Christian church in this nation has an open door policy and people say, “Great to see you” – try walking in to a government grant assisted art gallery run by a liberal, dressed in the common man’s clothes and observe how you are treated. I’m not a Christian, myself, but I certainly neither shun them, nor fear them. My mom came home one day with a 16 year old gay boy she met. He was sharing a hospital room with an employee of hers. She offered our home to him until he turned 18. Seems his welfare mom’s new boyfriend didn’t like him so she asked him to leave. He got sick, was penniless, but was a great kid. I’m curious… You really come across as narrow minded, why do you think that is?

      1. You’re ate up and this website’s patrons have lowered their IQ just by reading your comment. I’ll let a philosophy expert pick apart the logical fallacies in your argument.

  7. I applaud the post prior to this one that faith-based activists are not narcissistic; it is with compassion and empathy they care for others before themselves. I am one of them, even when I know I also carry some of those narcissistic traits. Its called self-discipline to not let those traits control your behavior. I am removing myself from my husband who is unable to control his narcissistic traits. Once these trait are uncontrollable it affects their very being, to which they lose sensation for a meaning to life: to love and be loved. This is my husband and it hurts to be mistreated by him since he has over time lost his sensation to love. He is so focused on himself, he’s unable to give back to others. Another narcissist I know is the outcome of having been dotted on as the “perfect” child and the “privilege ” child in the family of 13 children, she was number 8. She was, “the apple of her fathers eye” and always obedient. Taking it further sibling number four was the scapegoat and is now in a mental hospital for attempted murder of sibling number 8. This resulted in this woman to have all the traits at the highest level. Few if any can tolerate her distructive character. I don’t take her negative advances too seriously or personally. I avoid at all cost focusing her wicked ways of doing things because they are distructive. However, many commentators suggest to cut the relationship, I in turn provide them positive reinforcement by loving them with empathy and compassion. It is with love and compassion to love all mankind as equal; and to care for one another no matter their defects – even when the act narcissistic, they are still human.

  8. Holy F**k, i just discovered that i am a “Narcissist”.
    I have some of these “symptoms” in a high level.
    I didn’t knew there was a name for having these traits.
    I wasn’t always like that though, i was “normal”.
    I think i got these traits bcoz of my depression which made me thinking that i was nothing, and almost killed myself.
    Anyways, life is much better like that i enjoy and love myself, i stop someone who tries to hurt me, just by not talking to him, pretending he doesn’t exist or by looking at him/her from different point of views. Its much better 🙂 and i enjoy when he doesn’t know what to do, when he/she is like “wtf what am i supposed to do now”.
    Yep its better like that, i mean not allowing others to hurt our feelings by shutting down our feelings and playing with them, maybe i am “sick” or something. After all we have to live our life with ourselves not with others so yea idgaf, but thats bcoz i have decided to do, not bcoz i have a lack of empathy. Am i feeling sorry for ex. the kids in Africa that don’t have to eat …? Yes! But i just don’t think about it, coz there is no point, i do not have the power to change that so why…? Do i think that i am smarter than everyone else..? Yes, although i know i am not until i prove it, coz if i don’t then who will…?

    Narcissism is bad…..for others. Being “Good” simply doesn’t exist, if you are “Good” you are looser/stupid and you have a good heart. The winners are winners bcoz they had an advantage. Being bad is an advantage. Lying, Manipulating, being without Morals, Ethics, is an advantage. If you want to win you need advantages, otherwise you’ll be a looser, thats it.
    So now you know what the Winners are. Narcissists. Sad…? Yes, but is true.
    Can you really say what is good and what is bad if it involves you loosing or winning…?

    1. We all have some of these traits and yes, success can come to those who can disconnect themselves from the emotions of others in order to step on them and build an empire…can work that way I suppose. And I agree that narcissism is key to survival, but like anything else, how much narcissism is what is important to survival in relationships. Too much sex can ruin a relationship, too much booze, too much broccoli…make any list you want.
      The point is, if narcissism is ruining your relationships then there is a problem. So go ahead and be a lonely winner….in most eyes, that’s a loser.

    2. You should have followed your natural instinct. Suicide would have been a more constructive and inventive option for you rather than this stagnant and dull attempt at humor.

    3. Yes most definately you are one!!! Hell you might even have enough of it to make two of you. Im sure you have more personalities than that though. You are going to win alright. A free ticket straight to hell…thats where all of your so called winners will be.

    4. I can tell you right now, you are not a narcissist. And, decent people do exist. But, for the mere fact that you stated: “i stop someone who tries to hurt me, just by not talking to him, pretending he doesn’t exist or by looking at him/her from different point of views. ” Narcissists are the one who hurt people. People don’t hurt the narcissist. You express empathy. You want to be a piece of shit. That’s all! 🙂

    5. This was a light, entertaining piece on narcissism. Anyone really suffering in or in recovery from a relationship with a narcissist should maybe progress to more substantive works. Hell, You can find books on line, check to see that they have a reasonably large number of sales and that their reviews are highly starred. I’m responding SCN simply to say that certainly full fledged diagnosed NPD’s do indeed suffer greatly… I would not call that a win. Glad you made headway with your depression! Good luck to you.

    6. your message give me hope. yes, we shouldn’t suicide, even if people are horribly ableist to us. but life is great 🙂

  9. @..SoCalledNarcissist

    Yes you ARE absolutely RIGHT!! And, ding, ding, ding, you’ve won!! Guess what’s behind the door you’ve won! Oh wait, it’s not a door, it’s the “prize” itself! “Well, what is it?” ,asked the narcissist (as if he didn’t know already. It’s a portal, the entrance to your new home! And you have the advantage of claiming it now, or claiming it later! Either which way, it’s your new home, guaranteed! Isn’t that wonderful?

  10. Brilliant!! I have read many articles on this subject and you nailed it my friend. I LOVED the graphics, made me laugh out loud. I get the seriousness of the subject but for me seeing the true rediculousness of the N and the crap they would have us believe, really helps me to stay on the path of sanity and get the heck away.
    Great article, thank you!!!

  11. I had two narcissistic relationships it nearly sent me crazy .Stay away from people who don’t value you or respect you .It doesn’t matter what we call them they are people with no compasion or love and will use you to their benefit . They will also cause problems with every other relationship you have in your life .Please stay away from these evil selfish people .

  12. I am just now ending a two year relationship with an evil narcissistic pos. After I told him I was pregnant this guy had the nerve to immediately evict me. He has an excuse for everything he does. Down to telling me the reason he lied was because he knew I’d be mad (telling me your going to the store when you’re really seeing your ex girlfriend) and claiming it was simply a white lie. Constantly accusing me of the most outrageous things he could come up with knowing that it wasn’t even close to true. Blaming me for everything (such as it being my fault for him having to lie to me). Always yelling, discusssing, things at an unrational tone for hours basically repeating himself but cutting me off, interrupting me the first 10 seconds I tried to speak / respond to the hours of repetitive craps I just endured. Would say things like I don’t want to hear it, I’m done, or just not respond whenever I tried to respond to him. Would 100% of the time interrupt me when I spoke and when I would get upset for him interrupting he would say things like “oh, hate me because I am not perfect and accidentally interupt you”, although he never had that problem when conversing with anyone else. He would go out of his way for mostly everyone in his life, helping them, overly gifting them, and constantly complimenting them. This made it seem like I was in fact the crazy one because no one would ever think for one second due to his kindness to them that he could ever do such evil, cruel, intentionally things to me. He would say he’d be right back only to leave for hours knowing there was no food and that I was starving. He would intentionally try to keep me from working so that I would have to rely on him for everything and he would intentionally keep me from getting those things anyway. He would lie about everything from really minor irrelevant things to really important things all while calling e me the biggest liar on earth. Would make reasons to fight with me and would make up reasons to fight so he could leave and go do things I would never approve of. He would laugh or smirk and make things so much worse if I was crying, hurt, upset, etc. and never be there for me in these situations. He would manipulate every situation to where I was the bad guy and he was just the poor victim. It didn’t start out this way or trust me I would have ran and never looked back. It started coming out very slowly. Now I see him for the pure evil piece of garbage he really is. This has been the hardest breakup I’ve ever gone through and even harder because I am pregnant now. If anyone is in a relationship where it is aging them, causing them to feel more hurt than happiness, causing them to feel worthless, or anything like this I too encourage you to research narcissist behavior and to immediately no matter the cost leave . Leave and never look back. If you have to lose $10’s of thousands of dollars worth of stuff … Do it because you’re going to lose it anyways and it will only get worse with a higher loss. Don’t walk away from these people …run away and never look back. Trust me. These people attack some of the best hearted people. Why attack someone just as evil or someone who doesn’t care? They don’t. They also are quite good at convincing you they’ll change or that you need them. Nobody needs stress, hurt, blame, guilt, lies, manipulation, games, insult ,etc in their life and believe Me these evil lowlife s aren’t capable of change only capable of promising something they’ll never deliver on. They will use you up, abuse you, and than spit you out like you never exsisted. You’re simply a cat toy for them to be amused off of. When they get bored or when the toy is all mangled up from their clawing they will move on to the new , shiny, more amusing toy. This cycle will never end with them. You are no more than a object to them. Nobody says I wish my television would be more understanding.. because we don’t care about our television on that level. You are no more than a television in a narcissists mind.

  13. Dated one for 6 months , thank goodness for blogs like these or would have lost my mind, was lied to daily, subtly abused with hidden remarks about my looks, clothes, etc…was treated like a sex toy, you name it…..half the time I spent with this person I was in the twilight zone as I was being treated so poorly I put up defenses and couldn’t function as me, And that was all the more worse because I looked like a space cadet, easier to manipulate, I turned it around though, moved on and now I’m better for it

  14. I do respectfully disagree with the hypersensitive to insults and perceived insults description. Some people over-react to criticism or misinterpret people’s words, because they have endured a lot of abuse. They may be hypervigilant on being abused again, so they may take offense to tactless people that mean well. I don’t think being sensitive to criticism is always a narcissistic trait. I see a lot of this with victims of trauma. Insults and perceived insults can be very triggering to some people.

    I think a true narcissist lacks empathy and is interpersonally exploitative.

  15. Your inability to accept your terrible attitude coupled with lumping others in with you have certainly convinced me and maybe others that you are indeed a narcissist, full blown, textbook.

  16. Narcissists build themselves up by tearing others down. They are miserable, destructive and worthless as parents, mates and coworkers.

  17. These people narcissists will drain the life from you if you let them. They are incapable of love and care no matter what they tell you or how they act it is all a show which they have perfected over time. They are not normal, they do not live life like normal people do. They live in a dark underworld and dare not show the world their true selves. They are mentally ill. Nothing you do for them will change them. You need to get away from them because they will make your life unbearable. Run,Run, Run as fast as you can. Love and peace Mel xxxx

  18. Hey. I liked this article 🙂 I’m narcissist too and I find it quite interesting. I was desperatly searching blog from other narcissist, it feels good to find one. Well I guess it’s enough compliments to make you read my commentary until the end 😉
    About Facebook : narcissist can easily be addicted to things and Facebook is addictive, so I wouldn’t recommend it to narcissists. I lost hundreds of hours of my life on it. This is not cool.
    About relationships : yes narcissists frequently date other narcissists, borderline people or autistic people but I think it makes relationships work better when it’s the case. Actually able people are dangerous to us.
    About empathy : there are other people who are said unempathic, like sociopaths or autists/aspergers, and you didn’t precise the difference between them, so I will do it. Autistic people have emotional empathy but don’t show it in the same way as ables do and they don’t have cognitive empathy. Sociopaths have cognitive empathy but don’t show it in the same way as ables do and they don’t have emotional empathy. Narcissists have a reversed emotional empathy (meaning they’re sadists) and have a cognitive empathy which sometimes works and sometimes not.
    Emotional empathy is the ability to feel sad when someone tells you that you’ve hurt someone, cognitive empathy is the ability to understand when you hurt someone and why is that person hurt.
    So when three people hurt someone, the sociopath will say “hey, we hurt this person” but don’t care, the autist will fell sad but only after hearing it and the narcissist will be happy before hearing it if it was on purpose or will need to hear it to understand it was the case and after that they can (depending on the person they hurt)
    – don’t care
    – be happy
    – be sad
    if it was because they were only thinking to them at that time.
    Well if sociopaths or autists/asperger here think I oversimplifiate or go wrong just tell me. It’s not an easy subject.
    About the insults : actually it’s more a political problem… When someone always hear oppressive things they will be vigilant. in the examples you chose the people just defend themselves against real insults, and able people will do the same…
    About the example on MacDonald, is it from the song ”Tous des Mythos” from Max Boublil ? 🙂
    And finally, as usual on articles about narcissists I didn’t read the commentaries, but many of them are really ableist against narcissists, why don’t you suppress them ? 😮
    Thanks for reading and thanks for the article, it was interesting 🙂

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