The Problem Is You – Taking Responsibility for your Life
I think it’s about time to stop blaming everything else for our problems and start looking where the real problem is…ourselves.
I’m guilty of this as well. Oftentimes you’ll hear me say, “Taxes are too high, I’m broke because of taxes.”
How Can Taxes be too high?
In the 1940s they were as high as 94%, in the 70s, they were 70%, the highest tax rate now is 33%.
How can they be too high now?
The fact is; it’s easier to blame everything and everyone else for problems with ourselves. And regardless of how much the government takes I’ll always complain about them until it reaches 0% and there is no tax, but then I’ll find something or someone else to blame as to why I have no money left.
What do you know about George Carlin?
In the 1970s, famous comedian George Carlin had a very successful year, but because of his cocaine addiction he had spent all of his earnings instead of paying taxes. The tax rate at that time was in the 70% for money made over a million, long story short, he owed more than a million in back taxes.
The tax rate got reduced down to 50% shortly after. He would joke about how he had to make 2 million dollars just to catch up on taxes and he wouldn’t have any money left over after that. One million just to pay the current taxes and the other million to pay his back taxes.
The main problem was that he had hit a low point in his life and was coming off making a lot of money to making almost no money.
Imagine owing over a million dollars in back taxes to the IRS when you no longer make any money at all, barely enough to eat.
When you owe money to the IRS and can’t pay it, you accrue late penalties and interest on the amount you owe, making it worse and worse, the longer you wait to pay.
Did he just quit and give up and blame the IRS for his problems?
Did he just stop being a comedian or trying to earn money because it was hopeless?
The answer is obviously no as he went on to become even more successful and famous than he was all the way to the end of his life. It took him 20 years to catch up and pay those taxes off but he did it.
He simply identified that the problem was with himself. He dropped bad habits that were setting him back and came up with new stuff for his comedy acts; but mainly, he never gave up.
Most successful people you look at and idolize busted their asses off and had serious setbacks, as well as, serious rejections before they became the person you see them as today.
Additionally, George Carlin was also plagued with health issues, he had had two heart attacks at that point by 1980. He was literally on his way out to face death at least twice.
One time his wife was actually brought in to say goodbye to him as his pulse was down to 20 and he had 15 minutes left to live they predicted, but due to an experimental drug that this hospital happened to have, they used it on him and he came back.
Did he let his health set him back? Did he say I better take it easy I don’t want to have another heart attack? No, he said, in his own words, “Fuck you cock sucker” I’ve got things to do in this life.
It’s a Universal Reality
This is universal; you will find that more people who are rich, famous, successful, or happy in life, also went through struggles you wouldn’t even believe. Struggles and hardships so intense that it makes your own problems look pathetic in comparison.
Author Stephen King used to collect his rejection notices from publishers well into his late 20′s, stacks and stacks of them. At one point he was ready to quit and would have quit writing had his wife asked him too but she stood by him 100% and he kept at it, and he finally made a breakthrough.
He was also hit by an automobile while walking in 1999 where he almost died. Did he give up writing? Nope, he kept at it. Do you see the running them here yet? Don’t give up!
It’s so important to surround yourself with good people who believe in you and will help you get through tough times, not by blowing smoke up your ass, but by being honest with you.
You see, Stephen Kings wife thought he was really good at what he did and believed in him, and if you not only take responsibility for yourself, but also, who you associate with, you’ll take a corrective step in the right direction of getting your life back on track.
You’re the Problem
This process of blaming anything or anyone will go on until you accept that you ARE the problem. This applies to all aspects of your life; if you find yourself blaming your friends, your family, the schools, the government, or anything else for your problems or happiness, you will be bound to a lifetime of disappointment that you cannot do anything about. You can’t change those things, the only thing you can do is change yourself.
You are the problem, I’m my problem, it’s always been that way. We can’t control circumstances, but we can control how we respond to them.
I saw two people go through the exact same circumstances, one of them came out rich, the other came out poor? What was the difference between the two? It was the way they handled and responded to the situation; the circumstances were identical.
Everyone has bad things happen, everyone has circumstances, these things happen to each and everyone of us.
How long are we going to sit around pointing fingers and telling stories? Everyone has a story to tell!
It’s called a pity party, sometimes you’re the winner with the saddest story or circumstance, sometimes you’re not.
Life is not a competition of convincing people you had it rougher than everyone else and that your situation is so unique and if people just understood your situation they’d feel sorrier for you.
People have their own things to worry about, they don’t need to understand your situation or even hear about it, YOU need to understand your situation and do something about it. That way when you tell someone your story, it’s a success story instead of a poor me story.
People eat that kind of shit up. Stories of adversity are big sellers these days. “I hit rock bottom and then I made it to the top” It’s inspirational!
Start inspiring people and stop dragging them down with you. Just because the Titanic is sinking doesn’t mean everyone has to drown, some people actually got onto life boats and lived.
The Reality Is
Almost every successful, rich, happy person in this world has had or went through a circumstance that was worse than yours; and look where they ended up. Circumstance and things that happen to you are not special things that happen just to you to hold you back, they happen to everyone.
What separates people, is how they handle the things that come at them in life. It’s much better to come out on top than stay in the pit forever. If you don’t like where you are in life, then do something about it, here’s a few tips:
- Admit you are responsible for your own life and nothing else can or ever will be
- Figure out a course of action to fix the problem you are facing, use your brain, get creative, there’s a way out of everything. If you can’t figure it out yourself, there are plenty of people who prove coaching and counseling. What you absolutely need to do, is stop complaining about it and start asking people how they would handle the situation if it was them or what they would do, this will give you some ideas. You would be surprised at how similar a situation someone has gone thorugh already is to yours that you can draw parallels between them and perhaps come up with something similar that they used to get yourself out of it. You see, if you complain about something, people don’t think you want a solution to the problem, you’ll have to ask them for one of those.
- Once you have a course of action, set out on it. Sure, their will be set backs, but take them in stride, and keep going. Be able to adapt to circumstances as they arise. Don’t let them defeat you.
Eventually, you’ll come out on top. How long that takes, depends on how passionate you are about fixing your own problems. For me, it took 1-2 years, and when I fixed what I thought was the biggest issue of my life, I ran into something I think is even bigger, but I’ll fix this one too, and that’s life.
Fire Yourself, It’s Time for New Management
If you no longer have any circumstances or issues to over come, you probably aren’t living. I had a boss that used to tell me “If you aren’t making mistakes, I’m probably going to fire you, because that means you aren’t trying new things or learning, and are probably sitting back in the office doing nothing.”
You don’t need someone to fire you, take control, and fire yourself right now. Don’t wait till tomorrow or later in the day. Simply say to yourself, “I know you’ve been with me for a long time and I appreciate the work you do; but I’m changing course in my life and this just isn’t going to work out anymore. We have different goals, so I’m going to have to let you go. I’m NOT sorry, but you’re fired!”
Once you can your ass and hire your new self, opportunities will be endless!