As I go through hard times in my life, especially in this past week, I have taken a lot of time to contemplate the meaning of certain aspects of relationships and things. From this thought process I have derived the following quote of significance:

“If you aren’t willing to lose the person you’re fighting with over what you’re fighting over; then don’t fight”

Very simply restated this means that there are such things of such tremendous insignificance and non-importance that we escalate them into bigger deals than they need to be. If you’re in a relationship and you want to complain about toilet seats being left out, someone not doing the dishes, or someone not doing something else you expect like working; it is absolutely vital and essential that you consider the above quote. To say it is a mistake to pick a fight with your significant other is reserved for your own judgment and values, but for me I can look back many times throughout my life and realize how fucked up some of the arguments I had were. In the end I decided that none of that shit actually mattered. That none of the stuff we fought about was worth losing that person over.

If you want to wind up embarrassed and humiliated as your significant other leaves you one day and goes off with another person and gives them everything you’ve ever wanted, things this other person they found didn’t even remotely earn or do any of the hard work you did, then keep up the fighting. Eventually they will be so hurt by the compilation of everything that it won’t matter who they find, they will give that person everything you’ve ever wanted just to get away from you and bury the hurt. And when that happens you will be destroyed.

You may think it doesn’t bother you, but it will eat you alive for the rest of your life, especially when dealing with a soul mate. You’ll beat yourself up saying if I had just done this or listened more or this or that then I’d still have this person in my life or we’d still be together as a family. Hindsight works out in that way, you oftentimes cannot see things until it’s too late. This other person that they find won’t even be anything really special it will be a glimmer of hope and happiness that your significant other had wanted from you. Your relationship with them will be at such a low point that any person will work for them.

Now if it truly does not bother you then the answer to the above statement is, yes. Yes it is worth it to lose this person over what I’m saying and doing. This is the ultimate test. If you can sincerely envision your life without that person around then by all means pick all the fights you want.

There are lots of stories about psycho ex-boyfriends and ex-girlfriends but by a human nature standpoint how psychotic are they really? You see if you ask yourself the above question and the answer is no, this person is not worth losing, and you end up losing them. Then you’ve lost the only thing you’ve got.

Depression and anxiety will set in and when people lose everything they have, they begin to think there’s nothing else to live for. This type of attachment isn’t just with people, it’s with jobs, money, and material things as well. When some people lose money or their high paying job or some item they bought, sometimes, they’ve lost all they’ve got.

What would you do if the only thing you had was taken away from you, but not just taken away from you, you destroyed it yourself and handed it off like it was nothing. Would you fight for it? And how viciously? Would you do anything to keep the only thing you had?

You see if you’re not really in love with your significant other and you don’t get all that much into them, when you lose them, it’s not all too bad but still hurts because you’ve still got something else left. But when you really give your heart and your soul to another human being and you lose that connection it’s like being ripped apart from the inside.

Consider this very important statement every time you think you’ve got something to say to anyone that might be construed as negative. This isn’t just reserved for loved ones, random strangers and friends too can be hurt and you can lose them eventually. Take it from me, I lost the only thing I ever really had, and it’s hard to find meaning in life now because everything I had ever done was for everything I had ever had. Not a minute goes by in my life where I don’t feel torn in half, the only way I get through it is to ignore it and pretend it’s not so.