94 People Killed During a Walking Dead Flash Mob

April 9th, 2014 – An unfortunate tragedy unfolded today between a flash mob and a rural Texas farmer when the farmer opened fire in what he thought was a real zombie attack.

Over 200 people that were pulling a flash mob prank decided to take their pranks for a stroll into the country — a big mistake.

The farmer, whose name has not yet been released, was out in his field tending to a horse when he noticed the flash mob off in the distance coming closer to the farm. This wasn’t just any flash mob, the entire group was dressed and acting like the zombies from the hit TV show, “Walking Dead.”

It had never occurred to the farmer, who has never seen a flash mob, that this could be a prank. Being a Walking Dead fan himself, he prepared to defend his farm without hesitation, running for his gun and screaming for his wife to take their kids and lock themselves in the cellar.

He then moved to a high spot inside of his barn where he reports shouting warnings at the mob but they kept coming forward. And then, when they were within 50 yards of his farm and he was convinced this was the real deal…he opened fire.

He didn’t realize his mistake until it was too late.

The flash mob tried to break away, but the farmers focus was on his line of fire. Those that were caught in his fire and wounded began hobbling away just like real Walking Dead zombies, making things even worse.

The weapon?

None other then the Zombie Apocalypse weapon of choice, a World War 2 era fully automatic AK-47 passed down to the farmer by his Russian grandfather. It was smuggled into the US sometime in the early 1950s.

Police were quick to respond to the scene, but there was nothing they could do. Every available ambulance in the county was called in with helicopter support to rush the wounded to the closest hospital. So far, the death tally is at 94 with 37 others listed in critical condition. None of their names have been released.

The man is being held in custody and his bail has been set to $1,000,000. No charges have been filed at this time.

When questioned, the chief of police had only this to say, “This is a very strange event, nothing like we’ve seen before. On one hand we have a man that is simply trying to defend his farm and family that we believe was genuinely afraid for his life…”

He continued, “That may seem a little strange since he’s basically admitting he believes that a pack of Zombies were going to attack him. On the other hand we have 200 innocent people, although they were trespassing, that did not present any harm or make any threatening gestures to the man or his family. I can’t say what any normal person would have done in his shoes, but I’m sure there will be intense discussions over the next 24 hours with the district attorney to figure out how to handle this.”

The lesson to take from this? If you’re going to pull a prank on someone, make sure that there’s no chance anyone could feel threatened by it.