If you’ve ever accused someone for lying or breaking a promise, you may have been wrong to do so. There is a large discrepancy between intentions and reality. Facing the reality of a situation doesn’t mean someone broke their promise or that they lied. People bend to reality, reality does not bend to people. You have a hand in making your reality but so do others around you.
It’s time to accept that things don’t always work out the way as planned. This doesn’t mean someone lied or deceived you, most of the time it simply means they have too many hands involved in their reality.
The way you tell if someone was lying or if they were insincere is to examine their intentions. Has their intentions changed, and if so, was it because of a reality check, or was it because they were lying in the first place.
Someone unable to fulfil a promise, especially those on a restricted timeline, are not liars nor did they break their promise if their intentions still remain and they are making an effort to act on those intentions in a way they feel is best suited to achieve their goals. People aren’t even liars or promise breakers if their intentions change due to reality.
Someone who breaks a promise or lies is guilty of that crime before the events even take place. If they tell you in a month they will walk your dog and they don’t, they were guilty the day they told you they would walk your dog, only if, they never had the intent too.
They are not guilty if something else comes up beyond their control and they no longer can because they had the intention to do it but not the capability.
Don’t confuse hope and confidence with broken promises.
I could say I’m going to make a million dollars by the end of this year. If I don’t, that doesn’t mean I lied, it means I couldn’t do it. My estimate may have been off or my plan didn’t work, it doesn’t mean anything as long as you still intended on doing so.
When people make promises or tell you what you want to hear, they do so on the fly. So when I say I’m going to make a million dollars by the end of the year, my thought process literally looks like this at that time.
Now >> ?? >> million dollars
This develops into reality.
Now >> work >> million dollars
Now >> find new job >> work harder >> million dollars
Now >> quit job >> start business >> grow business >> million dollars
These are very simple action steps that could be taken to get to a million dollars by the end of the year but think of all the time that could be wasted transitioning between the steps and all of the problems and issues that you’ll run into.
In the time it took to realize that my current job wouldn’t get me a million dollars by the end of the year, I had to quit and find another job. That job wasn’t going to work either, I then decide that I have to start my own business. To reach my goal would be super rare and the time required to do so would take a lot longer than by the end of the year.
Even if I was able to make a million dollars with a business, I probably didn’t give myself enough time, reality sinks in or stops me from doing so, this does not mean I broke a promise or lied. My intentions and actions were real and sincere, reality prevented me for coming through.
A lot of people don’t take reality into consideration and expect the person that made the promise to be above reality, able to conjure and perform magic tricks to make things happen. Things aren’t always in our control.
Simply said, the pathway to the promise has more twists and turns than we initially realized. You see true wisdom in someone that comes to the realization that they bit off more than they can chew. They become smarter and more sober about their goals. While trying to reach their goal they will run into unforeseen problems, like everyone does, there’s always something you didn’t think of. But what sets them apart is whether or not they are working through the things that came up or if they have just given up altogether.
Confidence is not always a good thing when someone has set expectations or relies on your confidence. Confidence is nothing more than the belief in yourself that you can make it happen, but it doesn’t always work out that way.
Don’t be a gullible idiot, if someone promises to do something for you ask them how they plan on doing it. If they can come up with a plan that sounds reasonable to you then you know that their intentions are sincere. However, if things come up to deter that plan you will see them having to modify their plan, don’t get mad at them. Help them come up with a plan to achieve whatever it is you think they promised. Don’t just stand there expecting miracles and then blaming them for everything when you watched them fail all the way.
Recognize best case scenarios, always ask yourself what’s the quickest something has been done, and what’s the longest something has been done, and set your expectations in between there.
To make a million dollars, it’s been done over night and it’s never been done, so you should expect from now until never that they’ll have a million dollars, or rather, don’t set your heart on it, but if it happens, it happens.
You’ll also find that while you’re off blaming someone for breaking a promise, that you’re actually the idiot. It’s not because you trusted them, it’s because you’re simply a gullible idiot that got caught up in the euphoria of the promise. Clearly you also didn’t think through the reality of it.