The significant significance of a significant other – Cognitive Empathy

When your significant other is against you and not for you when it really matters the most. When their sarcastic humor is no longer funny and inappropriate. When the jokes go just a little bit too far and hurt just a little bit too much on the inside.

We’ve all had moments in our lives where we refuse good advice or information from someone based solely on the fact we don’t respect or like that person only to find out later down the road that they were correct after all. Continue reading “The significant significance of a significant other – Cognitive Empathy”

Never Date an Ex

Believe it or not, a lot of people end back up with their exes.  Sometimes there is a lengthy break, sometimes there is no break at all.  But people fear change, a lot would rather take what they have and deal with it instead of move on to new things.  Most of them have already developed habits and coping mechanisms to deal with their ex.

It’s like the fine print of every pharmaceutical advertisement ever.  “Do you suffer from back pain? Well suffer no more because we’ve got a cure for you, try the all new FDA approved Magical Back Pain Be Gone Pills.  Here at ABC Pharmacy we care about you.  Suffer no more with this miracle cure.  Warning: This pill may cause severe bleeding, dizziness, mental confusion, rash, or sudden death…”

Whenever I see a commercial like that, I say to myself, “No thanks, I’ll just keep my back pain.” Continue reading “Never Date an Ex”

And Now Our History Has Been Rewritten

If you’re anything like me, you don’t remember things that are no longer important, your brain just dumps them out of your mind. You don’t remember exact dates, you only remember sequences of events.

What I mean by sequences of events, is that you know that things happened before or after other significant events, so that you can line them up in chronological order but you don’t know what the dates or days were for those things.

For example, you know Tim and Bob got married, but before they got married they got engaged, but you don’t know what the dates of that were exactly, you know that maybe it happened in March and maybe you know the year, or maybe you know the approximate time, but you don’t have specific dates, you just know one thing happened before the other. Continue reading “And Now Our History Has Been Rewritten”

Everybody Hurts Sometimes

Dear future (ex)wife/girlfriend,

It is time we have a heart to heart. I know that by the time you read this it will probably be long overdue but it’s better late than never…unless we’re talking about CPR, using a condom, or stopping at a red light.

On second thought, there are many things where better late than never doesn’t apply. I don’t think your new husband or boyfriend would appreciate me finally calling to tell you I love you after we’ve been broken up for years. Continue reading “Everybody Hurts Sometimes”

Pockets of Love

Finding the strength to move on from a relationship gone bad can be more difficult than it has to be. Many people feel they need to stop loving their ex-person in order to move on. Sometimes this isn’t the right thing to do and can cause more harm than good.

There’s a big difference between loving someone and being in love with someone. Sometimes you have to love someone from afar because you know you’re no good together, but just because you break up doesn’t mean you have to stop loving somebody.

The breakup alone isn’t enough of a reason to stop loving and this is why it’s hard for people to “get over” their ex, because they’ve been told in order for them to move on they must have no feelings for them. I find the more pertinent part is not in how you feel for somebody else, but in how you choose to express those feelings toward them. Continue reading “Pockets of Love”

Even The Best Fall Down Sometimes

You may be run into a time in a relationship where things get real hard, so hard, that it causes a break up. When someone tells you “It’s not you, it’s me” there may be more truth to that statement than you may realize.

Although most people consider that statement an insult because it’s a cheap way of someone getting off the hook when they really think the problem is with you, sometimes that may not always be the case. Sometimes the statement is an exact description of what happened to the relationship. Continue reading “Even The Best Fall Down Sometimes”

When It’s Over

The most sobering thing at the end of a relationship is not that you’ll miss what you had because what you had was probably shit but rather that you’ll see the person you left behind give another person everything you had asked for.

And you’ll wonder to yourself, if they had just given all that to you, wouldn’t it have worked out?

I mean, that’s all you were really asking for was for them to show they cared, to put you first, to treat you well, to meet your needs, and to love you. Continue reading “When It’s Over”

One Man’s Trash is Another Man’s Treasure

If you’re single and in your 20’s watching all of your dream girls get married off, don’t worry it’s not the end of the world. At least half of those girls will be available again by the time they hit 30 years old. And if you miss the boat then, there’s another likely chance that your dream girl will divorce again if she gets remarried.

Good things come to those who wait. I don’t know that waiting for 10 years is part of your strategy, more than likely you’ll be marrying somebody else’s dream girl in your 20’s and then setting them free again sometime after. Continue reading “One Man’s Trash is Another Man’s Treasure”

The Law of 80/20 in Relationships

The Pareto principle also known as the rule or law of 80/20 states that 80% of the effects come from 20% of the causes. This is a widely known and accepted rule of business but what most people don’t realize is the law can be applied to almost every aspect of life, including relationships.

If you’ve read books like The 5 Love Languages you may have realized at this point that everyone has a different way of showing appreciation and love for their partner in ways that make sense to them.

Simply put, this means two people could be expressing love for each other in different ways but neither of them realizing that their partners way of expressing their love and appreciation is different from their own, thus they completely ignore or often overlook the things their partner does to express their love and appreciation. Continue reading “The Law of 80/20 in Relationships”